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What Really Is Self-Care? A Personal Reflection

June 01, 2025•4 min read

Hi MumLeader!

The other day, I was sitting in a nail salon, halfway through getting a new set of nails, and I couldn’t help but wonder: Is this really self-care? The room smelled of acetone, the awkward hand positions were beginning to bother me, the buzzing of electric files was giving me a slight headache, and to be honest I wasn’t enjoying the process at all. It wasn’t exactly the peaceful escape I had imagined. It felt like a chore, not a treat. I started questioning if this was worth the time, the energy, or even the money. Was I just doing this because the world says it’s what women do for “me time”?

Later, I shared this thought with my sister. She listened patiently and then asked me a question that shifted everything:
“How did you feel when you walked out of the salon with your cute, well-manicured nails?”

Without hesitation, I said, “I felt like a queen.”
There was no doubt. I stood taller, smiled more, and felt more confident. Her response?
“Then that is self-care.”

What Self-Care Isn’t

Let’s clear up some common misconceptions. Self-care is not:

An excuse to escape responsibilities: Taking care of yourself isn’t about avoiding adult life; it’s about being equipped to handle it better.
Always indulgent or expensive: You don’t have to spend money to take care of yourself. A walk, a deep breath, or journaling costs nothing.
Only about pampering: Massages and bubble baths are great, but self-care can also look like getting enough sleep, asking for help, or saying no.
Selfish: Stewarding your well-being is essential so you can continue to give, serve, and love from a full cup, not an empty one.

Redefining Self-Care

That conversation I had with my sister, opened my eyes to something important: self-care isn’t always about enjoying every step of the process. Sometimes it’s about the outcome, how you feel afterwards. It’s about doing things that replenish you, renew your energy, restore your confidence, and help you show up as your best self. Self-care is the intentional practice of nurturing your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. It's about showing kindness to yourself in a way that helps you feel whole.

In a world filled with curated Instagram stories of spa days and green smoothies, it’s easy to believe self-care has to be glamorous or instantly satisfying. But real self-care can be uncomfortable. It can be messy, boring, or even hard work. Think about it:

Going to therapy? Not always fun; but healing.
Saying no to a commitment? Awkward; but freeing.
Cleaning your space when you'd rather sleep? Draining; but refreshing once it's done.

Self-Care Is Personal

What feels like self-care to one person may feel like pressure or stress to another. A nail appointment may feel exhausting to me, but life-giving to someone else. A solo walk at sunrise might sound peaceful to one, and lonely to another.

That’s why it’s so important to define self-care for yourself, not based on trends, but on truth. Ask yourself:

Does this help me feel grounded, renewed, or at peace?
Do I feel more like “me” after doing this?
Am I taking care of myself so I can also care for others better?

If the answer is yes, then guess what? That’s self-care.

Self-Care from a Faith Perspective

As Christians, self-care can sometimes feel at odds with the call to lay down our lives and serve others. But let’s not forget: even Jesus rested. He withdrew from crowds, spent time alone in prayer, ate with friends, and slept during storms.

We are stewards of the lives God gave us; including our bodies, minds, and emotions. Caring for ourselves isn’t self-worship; it’s preparation. It helps us to hear God clearly, love others well, and live purposefully.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)
- You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Final Thoughts

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s how we honor the lives God gave us. It's stewardship. Stewardship of your mind, your body, your emotions, and your spirit. So next time you’re unsure if something counts as self-care, ask yourself:

Does this help me feel grounded, renewed, or at peace?
Do I feel more like “me” after doing this?
Am I taking care of myself so I can also care for others better?

Free Download: 25 Self-Care Ideas That Actually Nourish You

This beautifully designed printable offers 25 simple self-care ideas to help you slow down, refill your cup, and care for your whole self; body, mind, and spirit.

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or just want to be more intentional, this list will guide you toward small, purposeful steps that truly refresh you.